About Seidzzi Frovesty
| Seidzzi Frovesty (alias "Sphincter Face") was a person
of indeterminate gender who lived in the 15th century A.D., or possibly
later. Or earlier. No one knows for sure. The references in "the
literature" alternately refer to him/her/it as "Madame Frovesty", "a
brilliant philosopher", and "that damned weasel". We prefer to think of
him as a him, in much the same way that people think of "God", except
without the beard and the long white robes. Also, he doesn't have a
harem or an army
or a herd of "angels"...or whatever an agglomeration of such fictional
creatures is supposed to be called. We figure that he was more of a Mr.
Natural type of
character (with apologies to Robert Crumb). Any way you cut it, Seidzzi was a helluva guy, and by some reports, a halfway decent slide lute player to boot. As far as we know, his diet consisted mainly of chickens, legumes, and the occasional bundle of asparagus. He put his pants on one leg at a time, just like the current President of the Yoonited States, whoever he happens to be...er, unless he's a she, in which case never mind. We're not going to edit this page after every popularity contest they run every four years. "Ahah", you say, "so you are a cynic after all, Vito." Nope. We simply accept the reality that people vote with their emotions, and then rationalize their choices with justifications that are irrelevant to the fact that the only difference between monarchy and the thing we call "government by democratic vote" today is that nowadays the king is elected. If you don't think so, we are very excited about your prospects for personal growth in the area of acknowledging reality as it is, not as you want it to be. As Seidzzi himself so often said: "Political
solution: the ultimate
oxymoron"
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Vito gratefully acknowledges the invaluable assistance and inspiration of Dr. Z. "Pontoon" Zimmer in the genesis of The Seidzzi Frovesty Project. Long may it wave. Additional credit will be paid to the annoying rock band "Sweetfart"...if they ever get off their dead asses and write the music for the forthcoming PBS historical documentary, The Birth and Afterbirth of Seidzzi Frovesty, which they've been supposed to do for something like the last eleventy-billion years, it seems. Buncha jerks. But we mean that in the nicest possible way. |
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